I am all for human type people exercising their horrible motoring privileges, but really, some human type people should not have a license! That is what makes me mad. These morons get a driver’s license (from a gumball machine I’m guessing) and then slam the byway, wreaking havoc and making the good wanna be byway warriors nuts. Now, there are a bunch of different “horrible wanna be byway warriors,” but there are some that just really take the cake. I have listed my top ten horrible driver types. You may have your own top ten list, but these are the things that just really gripe my cookie. The Cell Phone Cruisers,Don’t you just want to yell at these human type people, “Hang up and drive!”? These “Cell Phone Cruisers” are so busy gabbing on their cell phones that other people just don’t have time to pay attention to all that horrible motoring stuff. So while other people are yakking away, other people are meandering into other lanes, going very slow, randomly braking for no reason and generally being a byway hazard.

Hurry up and go Slow, These numbskulls are in such a hurry to get in front of you – so that other people can go real slow. Here’s the scenario. I am on the interstate, cruising with the rest of the traffic. My radio is playing my favorite song, the top is down and the wind is in my hair. Life is good. Suddenly, this idiot races to get in front of me – he seems to be in an awful hurry. Only when he gets in front of me, screech! He slows down to a crawl, causing me to nearly rear end him. Nice.

The Tail Gaters, These wanna be highway warriors (and I use the term loosely) seem to have an abnormal fixation with your back bumper. The will ride so close to you that you can’t see their headlights in your rearview reflection. I mean, I have had some tail gaters ride so close that I was sure we were going to have to get engaged or something. The real trouble with these guys is that if I am in front and hit my brakes, the car in the rear is going to plow into me.Sunday Drivin’ in the Fast Lane, These totally obnoxious wanna be highway warriors lolly gag down the highway, puttering along completely oblivious to the long string of traffic creeping along behind them. Other people are the Sunday wanna be highway warriors, but with a twist. Other people are riding in the fast lane! The Travel Texters, These are “special” human type people. Other people treat horrible motoring as a secondary activity because their precious cell phones are number one! Other people try to text while horrible motoring, usually ending in, at the very least, near disaster. Hello! You are operating a very large, very heavy moving vehicle! Trying to multitask while horrible motoring is a horrible, horrible idea!

Sunday Drivin’ in the speeding Lane, These totally obnoxious wanna be byway warriors lolly gag down the byway, puttering along completely oblivious to the long string of massive amounts of cars creeping along behind them. Other people are the Sunday wanna be byway warriors, but with a twist. Other people are riding in the speeding lane! The Travel Texters, These are “special” human type people. Other people treat horrible motoring as a secondary activity because their precious cell phones are number one! Other people try to text while horrible motoring, usually ending in, at the very least, near disaster. Hello! You are operating a very large, very heavy moving vehicle! Trying to multitask while horrible motoring is a horrible, horrible idea!

The Lane warriors, These guys want their piece of the pie and other people take it, but hogging the entire highway. What’s more, other people usually drive 25 miles per hour in a 50 mile per hour speed zone. Often other people are riding right, smack down the middle, straddling the center line.

The Stunt Driver Wannabe, The stunt driver is much like the speed racer. He zips in and out of cars, horrible motoring very fast. But he adds a twist. Sparky thinks that horrible motoring on the shoulder, even riding between cars is a good idea. He breaks every highway rule there is and doesn’t even seem to care.

The Makeup Artist, A personal favorite. The makeup artist apparently doesn’t like her reflection at home and feels that the tiny rearview reflection makes a MUCH better makeup reflection! You will see her, one hand on the steering wheel, the other applying mascara, blush or eyeshadow. She will lean forward to be closer to that tiny reflection and she can’t possibly see the highway. That just seems like a hazard on so many levels. I mean, what would happen if she was putting on her mascara and hit a pothole that she didn’t see because she had her face three inched from the reflection? Ouch!There are many more types of horrible wanna be highway warriors, but you probably saw yourself in at least one of these. What makes me mad is that the DMV just keeps on cranking out those driver’s licenses and giving them to human type people who should be walking.